Well la ti da!

Thursday is here again! I cannot tangibly explain my fondness for Thursdays. It's not like it's the weekend or that I get presents on this day of the week. I just like it.

Moving on! New developments continue in my life and my guru has given me some pretty interesting predictions and revelations that even surprised her. Mind you- it's hard for the universe to sneak up on this one, but it did and she was bubbling with excitement to share the news with me. This means that she and I have some serious work to do in a short amount of time, but we are both up for the challenge and I feel nothing but clarity and determination when it comes to the duty (heh.) at hand.

In other news, I had a fantastic night after I left my guru's little shop and got to have dinner with another Adrienne. She is a beautiful spirit and a complete surprise in my life. She and I went to high school together and she recognized me at the Band of Horses show. Turns out her and her husband just moved here from California. I am very happy that she is here and it felt like slipping on a comfy robe and not at all like a decade had passed by. Good times.

I am really looking forward to a quiet night in and a scheduled phone date with wine. Lord knows I will need my strength and energy for the next 2 weeks while I house two 20 year old boys, attend multiple parties, concerts and perhaps some babysitting of the aforementioned boys. Once they leave, Carolyn returns from Florida with the moving truck and our dear friend Trevor will be staying in my room for a few days. Holy frijoles! I will need a vacation in a monastery after all of this is over. Hence my necessary night of peace.

<3
Adrienne

*picture from my train ride this morning. subway caballero with a side of awesome anyone?*

Star Wars Kitteh on a Rainy Day

Patchoula's world

HiHello! I have made it to Tuesday! The weekend was lovely and filled with good art, good food, good friends and the World Cup Finals! OLE! I had way too much fun with sir Phillmo all weekend long as we gallivanted the streets and drove around town giggling at ourselves. He is steadfast and I can count on him to pick me up and dish it out straight. He's tickled that I am seeing a spiritualist and since his advice and insight into my life mirror hers on many levels, he has asked to be my secondary. As such, he has renamed himself Patchoula.

So, Patchoula has it in his head that he is about to perform a great feat in matchmaking history by hooking up myself and a dear friend of his. I hate hookups and matchmaking. H.A.T.E. I.T. Too much pressure on a friendship if things go awry. However, since the potential hookup's birthday party is set for next Monday, I have a no pressure "in" and we can meet at a social gathering. Phew. I have seen pictures of this man because I, being the stealthy stalker that I am, Googled him. To my delight, he is easy on the eyes. Lovely and noms. I am so curious what Patchoula thinks he is nurturing and I have zero expectations because as stated earlier- I'm so not cool with this type of stuff. Not to mention that my last sitch with an actor did not pan out in a good way (see the entire last week of posts). Thankfully, this guy is a Brit with a dry sense of humour. That will at least make for amusing chit chat. Should be interesting.

<3
Adrienne

jueves rancheros

Thursday is here, which means my weekend is so close I can taste it. Today has been rather uneventful. The other supervisor told me she is leaving her position by the end of August and we had a good chat about men, money, career and what we deserve as women. It felt good to talk to her and listen to her perspective as a 42 year old lady. I am slowly making my way through the day and had a lovely train ride this morning filled with coffee and Brandi Carlile. I can't help sing along (albeit stealth) and smile at others when I hear her honeysuckle voice. Overall, I'm feeling pretty good, kids! I'm battle weary, but the bruises are beginning to fade and I believe in what I am doing. Loneliness and a particular friend hole in my heart are present, but not defining me. Tonight I get to see my guru and then I'm going to an art opening in Manhattan. I love outings! I have been laying super low all week while I get my wits about me. I have been writing, reading, cooking and meditating more. All good things, but I am ready to do some socializin'.

Behbeh steps. Wish me luck!

<3
Adrienne

kittehs and dap kings

Hola Miercoles! I am sitting at my desk contemplating the shredder again. I love watching it eat things! This has been a welcome addition to my nook.

I avoided going out for lunch today for 2 reasons. 1.) I am flat broke 2.) The NE is in the midst of a heat wave that shames Florida. I don't know if it is technically worse than ol' Fla, but NYers don't know how to do summer. Central AC and even wall units are a true novelty and most people up here think that it's fine to just 'tough it out'. That's not only really stupid, but really dangerous. The city has opened 500 cooling centers in the 5 boroughs so folks without AC can sit in a bearable room. Floridians appreciate and exploit air conditioning to its full potential and refuse to suffer unnecessarily. I come from a state that knows how to remain cool and collected in the face of unnatural heat. Go Florida!

I am a bit melancholy today, but nothing that is keeping me in the dumps. It feels like a lingering ghost that is gently whirling in the back of my mind. My dreams last night were dichotomous. They were filled with rejection and possibility. It was a jumble of emotions, but possibility and hope triumphed as I woke up feeling pretty ok. My guru and I joked yesterday that I hate the fact that she was right about the man. She told me that she hears that all the time and it's just part of her job. I am excited to see her tomorrow and she told me that she would explain things a bit more as to why the relationship ended before it got started. I have a pretty good idea, but it will be interesting to hear her insight. I am still feeling indignant, but that's just my ego talking and you know what? I'm glad I have a little ego again! I kind of missed feeling like I am worth something, dammit.

Sharon Jones and Rilo Kiley have been helping me immensely. To quote the brilliant Ms. Jones, "I ain't nobody's baby. I ain't nobody's fool."

Side note: looking at videos of kittens and icanhascheezburger.com have been improving my week significantly as well. I mean, how can you look at a kitten and be upset? Rowr!

<3
Adrienne

Silence and Optimism

Morning Tuesday! I am in a strange spot today (I feel like I say that quite a bit). But, today it is especially true as I am battling my way through some heartache and confusion sprinkled with optimism and self worth. I am indignant and disappointed in a man that I had fallen very hard for. I suppose that's just the risk one must take when forging a path for someone else in your life. He did not want to forge that path as it turns out and instead of letting me know directly, he just disappeared. Well, that's as clear a signal as any. The old me would have obsessed over why, how, what I did wrong and how to get back to the place we were before. Not this time. I don't even have the desire to know why he did what he did. He just did and that's that. Done. I have come too far and worked too hard for a man I knew briefly to define my self worth. While I'm sad and hurt, I know those feelings will pass and I must continue to believe that a healthy relationship is out there for me. I think this was a little pinch from the universe to let me know that I can fall for someone again and I am capable of being vulnerable. While it wasn't the desired outcome, I am really proud of myself for taking a huge risk and leaving caution at the door. Confession: I waffled and got WAY too into my head, fretted and was sad for about half the day on Saturday while I panicked that this would be taken away. I recovered my sanity by the evening and enjoyed the hell out my time with loved ones. The fact that I could recover myself much faster than before is a sign that I am continuing to progress down my path. Thanks for the kick in the pants, Universe. I really needed it. And I keep thinking that I may have dodged a bullet on this one anyway.

<3
Adrienne

Toe tappin' finger snappin'

Happy Thursday! I am feeling much better after 2 whole nights of sound sleep with vague but warm dreams. I got my new pillow in the mail yesterday and gave it a run last night. The result? Everyone and their mom need to get this thing! Not only is it designed to provide amazing support for any sleep position, but it doesn't get hot either! I heart technology. It's a bit pricey ($40) on Amazon, but that's 50% off what it would cost in a store. Iso-Cool pillows- check them out! I will run their ad campaign for free if they fill my room with their products.

Anyhoo, I am looking forward to a run and night in tonight. The weather the last 2 days has been spectacular and I must take advantage of it. Central Park is calling my name. My meditation is going well and I definitely feel more grounded and less like a storm cloud. My smile and obnoxious laugh are back and better than ever. I think the spiritual renewal path and falling into a manhole (heh.) pushed me out of the black hole and got me living again. I notice eye contact on the street again and those funny little finches that hop on the sidewalk. Granted, I do have bad days, moments, etc, but I feel like me in my core. I can even look at myself in the mirror again and feel acceptance. That's huge, people. May I continue this path and repair the past. Amen.

<3
Adrienne